October Phil

Here is my staple food while I am on my diet; my soya bean curry.  I make a full pan of it on Friday which lasts me until I go back to work on Tuesday.  Two bowl a day and I really look forward to them; its the only time I am no longer hungry since I started this stupid diet.  It all started when I went in to meet my old boss Alain Santaire regarding going back to work for them.  Several people told me that I was very fat.  Well, they didn't actually say it in those words, what they actually said was that I was looking very well, which amounts to the same thing. I was 19 stone when I met him, the heaviest that I have ever been so I thought it was time to do something about it.  I was reasonably careful from that day on and had lost 2 pounds by the time I started there.  I have an official weigh in on a Friday morning and record my weight in my work desk diary.  I didn’t loose much to start with, just one or two pounds a week.  Mind you, I didn't put any weight on when we took Mum on the cruise to Norway so that was a bonus, but every other week I have lost something.  I noticed that several people at work were on a diet, some of them seemed quite strange.

Ron, who used to be top man when I worked there before was certainly on one.  Ron has been side stepped and others have overtook him rather than him being demoted.  He is probably the one I have the most time for at Rexam.  He is 64 so quite close to retirement now.  When I worked at Rexam before, I used to walk home for lunch as it was only a 10 minute walk but now we live further away and it takes me 20 minutes so I cant come back for lunch anymore.  I still walk to and from work but I take advantage of the £5.00 a day allowance we all get from the food wagon that comes around each morning.  I have a salad and a fruit salad which is £4.90.  There is between 170 and 290 calories in the salads, according which one you choose.  I don’t know how many are in the fruit salad but woud imagine less than the salad.  Anyway, Ron told me of the diet that he was on so I bought the book from Amazon, its Dine out and loose weight.  Sounds perfect.

I decided that this was a good diet for me because it is perfect for diabetes as you are only allowed low GI carbohydrates.  This rules out potatoes, white rice, bread, pasta even sweet corn which I love.  Its a diet for life rather than just to loose weight.  Phase one is hard in the weight loss period but you never go hungry.  Phase two is much easier allowing treats after you are down to your weight, but you remain in this phase forever.  I didn’t want to start it until I had finished the book but continued by being careful and loosing a couple of pounds a week.  Another guy, Chris who is 20 stone and about 5 foot tall has started the Fast died by Michael Mosley, the TV presenter.  Chris Ford from Wednesday nights is also on it.  It seems to have taken off more than anyone could have imagined; especially Michael Mosley.

Michael started out life as a medical doctor but very quickly moved into tv with the BBC.  He produced an Horizon program that came out during the Olympics last year.  The program was about living longer by starvation dieting (if you overdo this it doesn't work).  It has been known for a long time that a reduced calorie diet prolongs live in other mammals.  If they are fed all the nutrients they need daily but only get about a third the amount of calories that they would like, mammals live for two or three times longer than normal.  It has now been discovered that they don't need to be on a low calorie diet all the time.  they can achieve similar results by starving the animals for two days each week and feeding them what the want the rest of the week.  The Michael Mosley diet uses this knowledge but he also recommends on your feast days you only eat low GI carbohydrates.  Chris lent me this book and I read it over the weekend.  As both these diets are ideal for type two diabetics, I decided to do both.  I also decided to walk for about an hour a day.

Soya Beans

Soya beans are a superfood.  They are the only vegetable to be classed as a complete food.  They contain all the 10 amino acids that are essential to us for protein manufacture because we cannot synthesize them ourselves.  They contain both fatty acids that are also essential to us and they are high in polyunsaturated fats like fish oil.  They contain a good amount of fibre and all the vitamins and minerals that we need.  Soya beans are legumes and so contain symbiotic bacteria called rhizobia within their root systems which fix nitrogen from the air so they don't need nitrate fertilisers   They contain, probably the highest proportion of protein of all vegetables and therefore seem to satisfy and fill us up when we eat them.  The bean-sprouts that you find in chinese supermarkets are normally mung bean sprouts but the larger yellow ones are soya bean sprouts.  They are only 15 on the GI scale and so only release sugar into our blood stream very slowly and are not therefore classified as a carbohydrate on my diet.

When I say Im going to do both diets, Im not going to eat what they both allow, but rather mainly do the Michel Montignac one full time but also fast on two days a week as well.  What they call a fast is not what I would call a fast because you can still eat 600 calories a day.  While I am at work I have a small bowl of all bran for breakfast and my salads for lunch.  The Montignac diet allows fruit but you can only eat it on an empty stomach.  This means that I eat my fruit salad at my desk at about 11.30am and then have my proper salad in the canteen at 12 midday.  I then don't eat until the next breakfast so it does mean that I get a real fast at the same time as low calories.  Anyway, while I have been going on my walks, I have discovered a short cut to work.  I can now walk to work in 15 minutes rather than 20.  All those years, that I worked there before and hadn't realized this amazes me.  I walked the long way 4 times a day.  One of my favourite walks is around Tongwell lake.

Before I started my diet, I decided to go for it big time for a couple of weeks to give me a head start.  I didn't drink for about two weeks and hardly ate anything either but I did loose 6 ponds the first week and five the second.  I have now started to drink again but I will continue to starve for at least one more week so I can get into the 16 stones.  On the Michel Montignac diet, You cannot mix proteins and carbohydrates, you can eat only proteins and fats no carbohydrates.  They consider carbohydrates with less than a GI of 15 to be ok to eat with proteins.  When you have a carbohydrate meal the carbs still have to be below 50 on the GI scale.  Soys beans are a superfood and contain only a GI of 15 so they are not classed as carbohydrates at all.  However my curry has no fat in at all, so I am only eating protein and roughage.  Our bodies cannot change either into fat or glycogen so its impossible to put weight on.  The protein that you don't turn into muscle you get rid of by farting all the time.  This gets rid of the carbon by turning it into methane.

I am really enjoying it at work and look forward to going back each Tuesday.  Mind you, by Thursday I’m usually looking forward to another break.  My main job has been to strip down, clean up, model and rebuild a machine at work called a “GV Cat”.  This machine simulates the transport of cans for wear.  When cans are stacked on top of each other on pallets and transported by road, rail or ship they vibrate around and rub together which can cause the paint to be scratched.  If this vibration is too severe and the lacquer protecting the paint not thick enough, the can can be worn through and leak.  The GV Cat has been made out of someones garage in the USA.  It was designed at least 40 years ago and both our machines are at least 20 years old and have now died.  We have been canabalising the first one to mend the second which worked for a while.  The guy that made them has died and there are no other alternatives.

The machine was designed to cope with the cans of its day and now we have a much larger selection of sizes and shapes that all need testing.  We make some very large 1 liter cans and some very small 150ml cans.  We also make slim cans which traditionally have been designed for the energy drink market, mainly Red Bull.  We also make bottle cans now which I spent man months, if not years designing when I was there before.  These need to be tested.  This machine will not allow us to test these cans even when it does work.  My task is therefore to model it on the computer and redesign it and modify the machine to allow us to test our other products.  This is perfect for me because it uses all my disciplines and I can work alone which I enjoy being a grumpy old git.  It has electrical power (all be it made for the USA), four custom printed circuit boards containing at least one custom chip, three custom castings, hydraulics, control and every other type of engineering.  If it was designed these days, it would be very much simpler and would use either a PLC or a small controller. 

Bottle cans are made from a sheet of flat aluminium and punched into a can shape.  This is mainly done in three stages.  The first one is to cut and punch the sheet to make a small, broad cup shape.  These cups then go into the body maker which extrudes and forms the basic can shape having the top trim trimmed off.  The can then goes into the necking machine which has one tool on the inside and another on the outside of the can.  This pushes down on the top and forms the neck ready to have the end (top with ring pull) put on.  The necking process cannot be done in one go and normally has about 10 or twelve stages to slowly change the shape of the can and produce the neck.  When we make a bottle can, the work on the neck is very much greater and it takes 39 stages of necking to produce a bottle can.

In the picture below you can see a can from each of the 39 stages of necking where at each stage the neck is worked just a little bit more than the one before.  As a bottle can neck is so narrow, the can has to be coated, painted and lacquered proir to necking otherwise they could not get the spray equipment inside the can.  The necking tooling has to have a polished finish so as not to damage the finish.  Most bottle cans are closed by a screw top so they can be resealed easily.  This is one operation to make the screw thread at the very end.

Here is a picture looking from the finished end of the line of bottle cans.  Once these cans catch on, you will see them everywhere.  Everyone likes drinking out of bottles these days, its trendy so customers like it.  The bars like it too because they don't have to wash and provide glasses.  The provider likes it too because it advertises their product.  Trouble is, glass bottles are anti-social; you can whack it around someones head and do them real harm.  They don't allow them to be served outside in case the glass is broken.  Bottle cans are the perfect solution while keeping all the good parts but loosing the bad.  they will welcome the change on airplanes to serve wine in as cans are lighter and take up less room if you squash them and also they cant break.

Rexam are the first and only supplier to make bottle cans and we have leant allot in the process.  In the past, if premium product cans require shaping, this is done by hand after the can is complete on a machine with rollers.  The new extensive necking process has taught us that shaping can also be automated.  The picture below of the Fusion Contour can is made by adding 19 extra stages to the 39 stage necker.  The can is first necked in, near the base, then necked back out to the same original diameter again before the 39 stage necker is used to produce the shaped bottle can.

On Friday and Saturday (25th and 26th October) we had a Red Bull car at work.  It is the 2008 car that David Coulthard used to drive before he retired.  It was a charity event for “Wings for Life”, so you have to leave a donation to take pictures of it.  There used to be two formula 1 cars in Bletchley that belonged to the old Arrows team but this one looks far bigger and more advanced than those.

The connection between Rexam and Red Bull is that they have exclusive rights to make all their cans.  In fact the bottle can that I am holding is one that I designed when I worked there several years ago and its only just being sold now.  Its yet to be sold in England but it is sold in Austria, USA, Czech Republic and Russia.  Maybe I can buy one when we go to Prague later this month.

A little bit about the fraudulent FA.  Barclays bank must be the most obnoxious bank in the world.  Every time I have dealings with them it ends in failure.  Daphne had bank accounts with Barclays and Halifax.  When she first died I rang them both to let them know and stop the accounts and to arrange to go in and take the death certificate etc.  I went in the the local Halifax at Lowestoft the next day but it took me 3 weeks to get to Barclays.  Once I was established, I started requesting old bank statements etc from both banks.  Halifax sent theirs out by return, whereas the Barclays ones would take several weeks.  I only managed to get one lot from Barclays because they started to refuse to send them to me.  If you rang them up they told me I was eligible but they couldn't put me through to the one refusing them.  I kept writing more and more aggressively without success.  In the end I found that the Newport Pagnell branch manager helped me out and printed things off in his office for me if I went in to see him.  I later found that I needed copies of all her accounts from 2000 when the Trust was started so he couldn't do that many as a favour.  In the mean time, I found all the fraudulent paperwork where my signature had been forged and realized that the check that went with one must have also been forged so I requested it from Barclays.  Again they refused because the other Trustee was now the FA’s wife and she blocked it.  I wrote a very aggressive letter back in the form of an official complaint explaining that I had found forged documents that would have been presented with the cheque and I had never signed any cheques from it.  I told them that I held Barclays personally responsible for this cheque as its their responsibility to verify signatures.  I was phoned by a nice man who agreed to send me a copy of the cheque which was not forged but it only had Daphne’s signature on while it was a joint account requiring both signatures.  This wouldn't have normally bothered me as it was Daphne’s money but now it was likely to become her FA’s money its different.  While the investigation was going on, I wrote and asked for copies of all bank statements again and two weeks later was rang by an obnoxious Scottish woman who again said I was not entitled to them.  I got so cross, she almost put the phone down on me.  I suggested that she spoke to her boss, I took her name and she rang me back and agreed to send them.  Two weeks later they still haven't arrived and I had to ring again.  Still haven't got them at the end of the month.

Anyway, the FA and his wife have been demanding money from Daphne’s estate is paid back to her late husbands Trust.  He claims that she borrowed £119600.00 from the Trust but has never been able to produce any evidence whatsoever.  He is doing this because the only part he has no control over is her estate in her Will and he wants that as well as everything else.  He first mentioned this debt well over a year ago but the probate solicitor has been after evidence since late last year.  I have been saying that its ridiculous to wait forever, why not give him a two month ultimatum to provide evidence.  Right at the eleventh hour he has sent them four copies of signed loans, from 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005 totaling £86000.00 but one of them was ongoing to draw from the interest at will.  He must have made these himself.  Anyway, his wife has now said that she does not want the loans paying back now.  Why would they do this, after all this time of trying and going to the trouble of making documents that everyone else has accepted, why give it away at the last moment?  I had heard nothing from the police so I emailed his sergeant again.  I got a reply the same day asking a few questions in preparation as they will arrest him within the week.  Look forward to next month; hope its not the usual disappointment again.

As you know from Claire’s entries this month and last, she has recently made contact with her Mum again.  This was more because her sister Julia was coming all the way down from Suffolk to look after her while she has been ill.  Claire prepared some photo’s of Harriet to take for her Mum so I have included some here. This one is with her cousin Jessica who now lives in Jersey.

Heres another when she was little; sorry Harriet.

Sadly, Claire’s Mum Elizabeth, passed away in hospital on Saturday morning on 12th October 2013.  It was Claire, on Friday night that insisted that she went into hospital.  Following her death the sister’s went through some of her mum’s photographs and split them up.  This one is of Claire’s favorite Nan, Dorothy.

Here is one of Elizabeth (Liz) as a young Mum with her first born Claire outside the gasworks wall.

Another one of the proud young Mum, who looks quite allot like Claire’s other sister Louise with her hair short.

Here is one of Claire and her brother Simon at school.

This is the prettiest sibling.

Mum’s getting a bit older now.

And even older, next to her tree house.

In this one, I think Liz looks a lot like Claire.

Looks like they share some passions as well.  Liz is outside her favorite pub;  she was either in it or watching it on the tele.

Its Christmas time.

The funeral went as well as could have been expected with such a disfunction family.  The service was excellent considering it was done on the cheap.  Here are the flowers for the coffin.

 Harriet and Billy came along to offer their support.

There were quite a few people that Claire of Harriet had never met.  Here is Claire’s youngest brothers Nick's wife and children.

And these are the two grown up daughters of her brother Simon.  They have their own families now but didn't bring them.

Rest in peace, Liz!

Mission accomplished

Well I am pleased and very relieved to say that I pulled it off and everything went to plan on Friday.  I went to the sheltered housing place in New Bradwell in the morning and Janice, Ann and Pat were already in the communal hall getting the food organised.  I popped the drinks in the fridge and gave them a hand.  I did have a slight worry that putting out food at 10 am in readiness for a 4 pm wake was not quite following the rules of health and safety but hopefully after I left, they put stuff in the fridge.

Phil took delivery of the funeral flowers whilst I was out and Julia and Louise arrived an hour ahead of schedule.  This was okay except that everything was done and all there was to do was sit around and drink tea.  I had done some tuna and sweet corn sandwiches which we all had to force down our necks because no one was really hungry.  It was a long 2 hours.  Mike arrived at half two just as Phil was leaving to pick up Sue.  We all squeezed in Louise’s car, and I do mean squeeze, and got to the crematorium way too early. 

Janice & Ann were already there as was Mike’s sister and husband.  There were many more people than I expected but some of these included friends of Mike who were there to support him.  It was a little awkward and no one really knew what to say to each other.  I was very anxious about my brother turning up with his kids and I had every right to be.  When he finally came with his partner and 2 daughters, he smelt like a brewery.  I was also shocked at his appearance; he looked much older than his 44 years.  He was also very tactile. 

Harriet and Billy came which I was glad about although Harriet’s anxiety really showed.  Me, Julia and Louise sat at the front but Nick & Simon opted not to go front pew, which was fine. 

The visual tribute was lovely and really added a personal touch so I was glad that we had paid for this.  The service went without a hitch.  Louise recited the poem and Mike’s eulogy hit the right tone and I was glad he’d kept it real.  He also spoke very well.  The only thing I didn’t like was the tone of Jacqueline, the civil celebrant’s voice.  It was just plain weird and Sue she felt that she sounded insincere.

I was proud that I didn’t cry in the service, I did all my crying a couple of weeks ago, but Louise & Julia did and I could hear Nick sobbing behind me.  Everyone said how nice the service was so that was a big relief to me. We didn’t hang around for too long afterwards mainly because it was beginning to rain.   Ann, Janice & Pat had made a fabulous spread of food and did my mum proud. 

The wake went on for about 3 hours and the only word to describe it, is weird.  I was concerned that my brother Simon and his clan decided to go to the pub first instead of coming straight back from the crem but he actually only missed the first half an hour.  I’m guessing he thought it better to drink free drink rather than pay for it out of his own pocket.  I did have a conversation with him and his partner but I did keep a little distance because there was real potential for him to kick off.  Harriet & Billy did mingle but it was obvious they were uncomfortable.   It was interesting to talk to my nieces because I hadn’t ever seen them.  They were nice enough girls and told me they didn’t have a very good relationship with their dad which is hardly surprising given his history. 

Nick & Sonia brought my little nieces so that broke the ice a little bit.  I have never known a room so full of tension but thankfully it was all civilised.  Simon went off with his clan in a taxi and then we all set about clearing up.  Louise & Julia were brilliant and so were Sue & Phil.   When it was all done we left Pat, Janice & Pat with a glass of wine in their hand and then made our way to The Giffard.

It was just my sisters, me and Phil and Mike & Sue.   I was very glad it was all over.  It wasn’t a late night, I think everyone was exhausted.   Phil & I got a taxi with Sue as we were staying at her house but Julia & Louise walked back to our flat.  It wasn’t until the following morning when Phil dropped me back at ours that I learnt that they’d had quite an eventful night.  First problem was unlocking my front door, apparently it took them ages.  

They hadn’t been in bed long when they got a phone call from the hospital to say that my dad was very confused and was being violent.  Lou phoned Mark and he had the job of visiting dad in hospital at midnight.   Lou phoned and apparently Mark was able to calm dad but he said that he was very confused.  Poor dad was trying to oil the medicine trolley as he thought it was a car.  He also tried to stroke Mark’s foot because he thought it was a dog.  Not good.   Both sisters only got a couple of hours sleep when they awoke in a hot sweat, literally.  I’d turned the heating up and they were too hot.  Apparently they were opening windows and standing on my front steps trying to cool down.

I had a cup of tea with them and they left for Suffolk at just after ten.  After dropping me off, Phil drove to Melton to spend the day with his mum which left me home alone.  I thought with the funeral being over I would feel like my old self but I felt very flat and didn’t really know what to do with myself.  I ended up not doing very much at all which was a total waste of the day.  Sue popped in for a cup of tea on her way back from Matt’s and Phil got back not long after. Our evening was quiet, a Chinese take-away, X-factor and me falling asleep on the sofa.

We enjoyed the extra hour on Sunday morning, Phil got up to watch the Grand Prix but I stayed in bed reading my kindle.  I couldn’t be arsed even to go to the gym.  After the race we walked to Sue’s as she’d very kindly invited us for lunch.   I think her mission is to feed me up and she cooked roast chicken with all the trimmings.  More wine and music after lunch and a walk home with Phil holding me up. I had another hangover yesterday morning but I at least I did make it to the gym. 

Yesterday Phil went over to the caravan as he had to pay Dennis for doing some jobs for us.  He also had post to collect and he also wanted to check the vans after the high winds.  Fortunately they were both okay.   I did a few bits of paperwork but I really need to get my arse into gear today.  With the events of the last few weeks, things have been ignored.  I need to get my life back on track.

Today is the day.............

It seems wrong, on so many levels, to cut costs when planning a funeral but with no money in my mum’s estate, the budget has had to govern the service.  I haven’t cut back on everything; we paid £50 for mum to be dressed in her own clothes.  I also ordered 30 memorial bookmarks which we also did for George because they add a personal touch.  The Montage boards only cost a tenner and are a nice reminder of mum in her younger days. 

I’ve also paid for a visual tribute although @ £1.25 (plus) VAT for each photograph, I’ve only got 20 pictures rolling round.  We also paid for the music, we could have taken a CD player but I thought that was a bit naff.  I have ordered flowers independently rather go through the funeral director because their prices were just ridiculous.  I paid for the funeral using my credit card but Louise insisted that all the siblings chip in which will certainly help the plastic situation.  

Mike came round on Tuesday to go through the funeral arrangements with Jacqueline, the Civil Celebrant.  Thankfully Jacqueline agreed to reduce her fee which was kind because otherwise we would have had to have a reverend. I liked Jacqueline; she was blonde and buxom and kept it all very real.  Between the 3 of us, we cobbled together an order of service which hopefully everyone will be happy with.

Arranging this funeral has not been without its tribulations.  My brother Simon (ex con) called me one evening which took me by surprise because I hadn’t realised Julia had given out my mobile number.  Unfortunately we had words and the following day, it suddenly occurred to me that my brother is violent so I left him a voicemail, sort of apologising. Since then I have had a couple of texts and another phone call and all is okay.

I also had to have a telephone conversation with step dad number 3 which was okay, but at the end of the call, he sort of implied that I had upset my youngest brother by not including him in the arrangements.  This upset me so I phoned his wife who informed me that all was okay and this was certainly not the case, but I am not convinced.  The youngest brother who is local could have called me at any time to offer help, but no, my phone has been silent.

In all of this, my real dad is still in hospital.  His physical health is much improved but the drugs and unfamiliar hospital environment have made his dementia much worse.  On Sunday evening he was convinced he was in a prison and kept the whole ward awake by trying to jump into their beds and going through patients hospital lockers.  On Tuesday he phoned my sister on her mobile and informed her that he had arrived.  When Julia asked him where he had arrived, he told her that he had taken the train to Cambridge!  This all sounds very funny but it’s not really, we are awaiting for social services to do an assessment but the general consensus is, that the sooner he gets back into his own flat, the better; worst case scenario is that he has to go into a care home.

On Wednesday morning I went to New Bradwell to visit Janice, my mum’s neighbour and friend.  I was a little surprised to find her drinking white wine at 11 in the morning but I suppose that’s why she and my mum were best buddies. Janice and another resident Ann are doing the food and I just wanted to check that it was all in hand.  Thankfully Ann had planned the menu and they think the 100 quid that my sister had given Janice would cover it.  I have been lumping the booze for the wake around in the boot of my car all week and had thought I might leave it with Janice, but in the end I decided to take it over this morning. I thought that best and didn’t want to lead Janice into temptation!

Thanks goodness for Susie Sue; she invited me over and cooked me a delicious meal on Wednesday evening, in fact I stayed over.  Since my mum died, I have slept restfully and have kept Phil awake.  I do this thing when I fling my arms about, hitting him and waking him up.  He had particularly bad insomnia on Tuesday so having the bed to himself gave him a chance to catch up with his sleep.

I really am not looking forward to my mum’s funeral this afternoon; what with an ex con brother, a nephew with an ASBO and a real possibility that mums 5th husband, Ron the manic depressive, might turn up at the crematorium, I suppose it’s not really surprising.  I have had a knot of trepidation in my stomach for the last week and it just won’t budge.  I just wish today to be over with even though the day has barely started. My biggest fear is that it will kick off at the wake and turn into something from the Jeremy Kyle show.  I sincerely hope not. 

Must stop typing and get going, places to go and people to see.  Wish me luck for this afternoon, I think I am going to need it……………… 

Mole Day

Mole Day

It’s 23rd October again, so it’s mole day again.  A mol is the least understood or used of the 7 SI units by ordinary people.  It is the standard unit for a quantity of atoms or molecules.  A mol used to be called a “gram molecule”, which is probably more descriptive than mol which sounds like a gangsters girlfriend or a furry insectivore.  It just a number like Pi except much larger which it needs to be as its describing such tiny particles.  One mol is equal to 6.022 x 10²³.  Which is basically 6 with 23 zero’s after it.  That’s why mole day is on 23rd day of the 10th month and officially starts at 6:02 in the morning.  This time, I thought I would try to show how much a mol of a substance is; how big does 6.022 x 10²³ molecules look like.

 The above picture shows comparatively what a mol, in the form of a sphere, looks like arranged from less dense to more dense common elements.  The first sphere is water but the rest are common solid elements.  I must admit, I was a little surprised when I made this as I expected a bigger difference between different densities of materials.  The following list, is of each material in order from left to right followed by its atomic number (number of protons) in parentheses;-
Water (10), amorphous Carbon (6), graphite Carbon (6), diamond Carbon (6), Aluminium (13), Silicon (14), Iron (26), Copper (29), Zinc (30), Silver (47), white Tin (50), grey Tin (50).
I have shown Carbon in three of its allotropes (structural forms) and Tin in two.  When Carbon is compressed and heated many km underground it can change its form into the more dense diamond form by changing its atomic structure or way that its atoms link together in the solid.  Remember that each sphere is not by weight but by the number of atoms.  For reference, the first water sphere is about 1.6cm radius.

It is only when you include, the much less dense, air that things change dramatically.
This is the same picture with 1 mol of air included at the front.  This really does show how much more space atoms and molecules in the form of a gas take up.  Of course, a gas expands or contracts, much more than liquids or solids, according to the temperature and pressure they are exposed to.  This picture is at 15 degrees C and at standard atmospheric pressure at sea level.  For reference, 1 mole of air is about 17.5cm radius.

This picture shows, 1 mol of air, 2 mols of air, 3 mols of air and 1 mol of Water(10).  The interesting thing about quantities of a gas, is that whatever the gas, they always have the same number of molecules in the same space, as long as the pressure and temperature is constant.  This is because, the space between the molecules is very much larger than the molecule itself, however big it is.  Even Xenon (54) gas, which has atomic number 54 would occupy the same space.  So in out picture, 1 mol of Hydrogen, would be the same size as 1 mol of Oxygen.  The only difference between the first 3 spheres is the number of atoms inside them, regardless of what gas it contains.  There would be a difference in its mass or weight, but not the number of atoms or molecules within.  Thats why a balloon filled with hydrogen floats and one filled with air sinks, even though they are both the same size and therefore contain the same quantity of molecules.

Look at the last picture again.  The volume of the second sphere (2 mol) is twice the volume of the first sphere (1 mol).  The volume of the third sphere (3 mol) is equal to the first two spheres added together.  One mol of water consists of 2 mol of Hydrogen and 1 mol of Oxygen.  If we filled a balloon with 2 mol of Hydrogen and another with 1 mol of Oxygen, then combined the contents of the two balloons, we would get a balloon filled with 3 mol of the mixture.  In fact, it doesn’t really work like that, because as soon as we collect hydrogen atoms (H) together, they will react and combine with each other to make hydrogen molecules (H₂).  Oxygen atoms (O) do the same thing to make Oxygen molecules (O₂).  Once they form molecules they will take the same space as half the amount that they would in atomic form.  Effectively, we would have 1 mol of Hydrogen molecules added to 1/2 mol of Oxygen molecules producing a balloon filled with 1.5 moles of the combined gas.  This balloon would not react to make water but remain as a gas.  Energy is required to start the reaction.  Once the reaction starts it is self sustaining because when these gasses combine to make water the reaction produces its own energy which will sustain further reactions.  If we have a balloon filled with such a mixture and add energy, in the form of a lit match, the reaction would take place very quickly.  In the time it takes to blink, you would have missed it.  Once the reaction starts the balloon would explode in a puff of light and sound leaving only water vapor and water droplets.  In fact, if all this water is collected together, one exactly the size of the blue 1 mol sphere on the right.

A roller coaster of emotions

Where oh where to start?  This week I have felt like I have been on a roller-coaster ride; if you thought I was all doom and gloom in my last posting, then do not read on because this week has been much much worse.

It all started off last Friday; the day started off okay.  I went to the gym, saw Susie Sue and then after lunch back at the flat, I went to visit my mum.  When I arrived my mum was slumped in her reclining hair chair.  She was dressed in a onesie and reminded me of a tele-tubbie.  Mum’s speech wasn’t very clear and I managed to obtain that she’d had a fall at 5am that morning and wasn’t found until the carer went in at 9 am.  Why oh why she didn’t press the emergency button I couldn’t fathom. I hadn’t been there very long when step-dad number 3 turned up (aka Bob-the-slob).  I hadn’t seen him in nearly 20 years and my instinct was to flee but I just couldn’t leave mum in the state she was in.  Bob the slob had only been there 5 minutes when my youngest brother Nick came in; in one way it was nice to see him after so long but it was all a bit weird and very awkward.

Mum said she needed the bathroom and as we were lifting her out of her chair and into the wheelchair she said it was too late.  I manage to wheel her into the bathroom and onto the toilet.  It wasn’t pleasant peeling off the onesie especially as she was in so much pain but I managed to get her cleaned up.  I gave her a wash at the sink and got her into a clean nightie and onto the sofa.  Bob the slob got Janice, a neighbour and friend and between us we decided to pull the emergency cord for the paramedics. Before they arrived I managed to get a morphine patch on mum and Janice and I packed a bag for the hospital.

To be fair, the rapid response team didn’t take long to arrive; at first they were adamant that a hospital bed wasn’t the solution but after taking vital obs they soon changed their minds.  They called an ambulance and then put mum on an oxygen bottle.  I did have to laugh myself because my mum insisted on having a fag before they hooked her up. Mike, my mum’s friend of 27 year helped put things into the hospital bag.  My mum’s sugar levels were low so the paramedic insisted that she ate something before she went in the ambulance.  Janice fed her a small bowl of apple crumble and custard and then mum was wheeled into the ambulance.   Mike went to the hospital and then we all went our separate ways.

I went to Sue’s as I promised to pop in on the way home; I took my mums soiled clothes in a bag and Sue, bless her, insisted on scrubbing them by hand before putting in her washing machine.  She is such a good friend to me and I am so glad she is in my life.  I got home just before five and was undecided whether or not to go to A&E.  In hindsight I wished I had of done.  Mike phoned later and said that my mum didn’t get a bed until 9pm; he also promised me he would phone in the morning.  I’d phoned my sisters who had already planned to come to visit mum on the Saturday.  I got the call from Mike about half eight to say that it was not good news and to come straight away to the hospital.  I drove in to the car park just as my sisters were going to the main entrance.  We had a few brief words and I said I’d meet them on the ward.

Unfortunately we got there too late; mum died 5 minutes before we got there.  I saw my mum dead in the bed and it was an image I don’t think I will ever forget.  Poor Julia was in bits and I don’t know whether it was seeing her upset or the fact that my mum had passed, both I guess and I was fairly tearful.  I didn’t expect to be upset and the emotion took me by surprise.  Louise and I waited in the corridor and left Mike and Julia with mum.  I phoned Phil & Sue and Lou phoned Mark.  Bob the slob and Nick were at the hospital and we all went in separate cars back to mum’s flat.

Janice, mum’s friend and neighbour and to be told and she was very upset.  She came in to my mum’s flat and we hit the wine even though it was only 11 o clock in the morning. My mum would have approved and if she was looking down from above, she would have probably loved to join the party.  I phoned Harriet and she came round to see her aunts and actually ended up driving me home.  I admit I was in a bad way and Phil ended up taking me to see Sue which helped.  We got back to the flat and I promptly fell asleep on the sofa.  It felt like it had been a very long day.

On Sunday we went round to Sue’s for lunch; I felt pretty crap but I think Sue and her new BF, Ian, felt even worse.  They’d been out the night before and hadn’t got to bed until 2.30 pm.  I don’t know how Sue managed to cook lunch with her hangover but she did and very nice it was too; roast lamb which is my absolute favourite.  We didn’t intend to overstay our welcome but we did and it was 7pm by the time we got back to the flat.

My sister Julia drove down from Suffolk to sort out my mum’s flat.  She stayed with Mike because with only the one bedroom we couldn’t put her up. I met her and Mike at mum’s flat at lunchtime.  They’d already started empty cupboards and it was chaos.  Janice was there and basically we ended up putting much of mum’s stuff in Janice’s flat.   We put a lot of stuff for MacMillan in the main function room at the Sheltered Housing where mum lived which helped.  It was all a little overwhelming and even though we worded solidly for 4 hours I didn’t feel that we even touched the surface.  I felt a bit weird and a little uncomfortable sorting through my mum’s personal stuff but I had to help Julia.  At the end of the day I took home the paperwork to sort and Mike & Julia took all the photographs.

I felt really drained on Monday evening but I had to sort mum’s paperwork.  At the end of the evening I discovered that my mum had no money, in fact she owed money to everyone but worse still, she had no funeral plan or insurance.  She had taken out an over 50 life plan in 2010 but she cancelled this in January of this year.  This was not good news.

I was up early on Tuesday and went round to Mike’s house at half seven having phoned Julia to check if she was up; she was and made me a very nice bacon sandwich.  Mike was still asleep so we drove in my car to Mum’s flat.  Julia was not very pleased when I told her mum had nothing in her estate especially as Mum had told her repeatedly over the years that she had it all sorted.

Mike & Janice joined us at the flat and we filled lots of black sacks, about 30 in total, I have never known anyone have so much crap.  Janice decided that she wanted mum’s sofa, her units and her bed so I phoned Phil and he helped Mike take them into Janice’s flat.  I promised to pick up Sue and her friend Carol and drop them off at the coach station so I left at midday, dropped off a load of clothes at the charity shops in Newport and then picked up Sue.  I felt sorry for Sue because she had been really looking forward to her trip to Paris but had woken up on Tuesday morning after a crap night’s sleep with a stinking cold.

Afterwards I went back to the flat, Mike filled his car up with stuff, Phil filled his car up with stuff and Julia and I filled my car with stuff for the charity shop.  We finished about 3pm and ended up having something to eat in The Dolphin in Newport because we hadn’t had any lunch.  I got back to the flat about 4pm which gave me an hour to phone around some funeral directors.  Phil had kindly done some research so this helped but I didn’t get on too well, having to leave several messages for directors to call me back.  In the evening I picked up Julia from Mikes and brought her back to the flat.  Phil was out so we had some wine and some cheese and biscuits and talked about the past.

Julia picked me up on Wednesday morning and our first stop was a full fry up in Tesco’s in Bletchley.  I always need junk food when I’m stressed and this worked a treat.  Next stop was the Next clearance shop where both me and Ju found a funeral outfit.  We then drove to Mum’s flat to do a spot of cleaning.  Mike was already there clearing out the outside cupboards.  We pretty much had finished cleaning so we left the keys with Janice and went back to my flat to do some phoning.  Luckily I found a funeral director who could do a funeral for under 2 grand.  With all the phoning around I couldn’t believe how much the cost of funerals differs.  Believe me you really do have to do your research.  We are using Bedfordshire Funeral Services; I can’t tell you yet if they are any good until after the service.

The hour at back at the flat was time well spent and we arrived at the registry office in Bletchley to register mum’s death a little early.  Mike was supposed to be meeting us there but he got lost. We had all the information to register the death but we did have a sticky moment.  My mum had been married 5 times and at the time of her death she was still married to Rocket Ron the Schizophrenic which legally makes him her next of kin.  Julia and me lied and said that to the best of our knowledge that she was divorced.  Mike did eventually turn up, better late than never I guess and we were all done and dusted by half two.  Just time to get back to Mike’s house and have an hour of funeral planning before John the funeral director turned up.

It’s hard when somebody dies without leaving a plan of their final wishes so I very much feel like we are winging my mum’s service.  Mike choose the music for the entrance, I chose the hymn and both Julia and I chose Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’ for the exit which we both thought was very fitting.  Mike is writing the eulogy and I have volunteered to stand up and recite a poem. 

After the funeral director left, we had homemade curry from Julia’s freezer and rice that I had brought from home.  It was delicious and lined the stomach for all the wine that we consumed later that evening. I really do need to detox but in reality this is not going to happen until after the funeral which will be held at the crematorium on Friday the 25^th at 3.30 pm.

Julia sorted out all the photographs and had a bag for me, Simon and Nick.  She invited Nick and his wife Sonia round with their kids and they turned up at 7pm.  My brother Nick is very shy and was quite hard work but his wife Sonia is lovely and my nieces Sarah and Sofia are adorable. I am not certain as to whether they will remain in my life after the funeral but I can decide on that later.  We had a nice evening just a shame that it was such a late one.  Especially as I had to be up early to drive to Melton to see Phil’s mum the following morning.

I really didn’t feel like a trip to Melton but I dragged my weary bones out of bed and I was on the road by 7.30 am. The traffic was heavy but I drove on auto pilot and got to the bungalow just after 9 am.  Just time to gulp a cup of tea and get mum to the doctors for her appointment.  Bett had been diagnosed with a prolapse womb 10 years ago and mentioned to me a couple of weeks ago that she thought this was why her lower back pain had got worse. I went on the net and found this to be the case; I also found out that having a ring inserted could help.

Poor Bett gets very nervous when she visits the doctors so I had to do all the speaking.  Fortunately the lady GP was very good and after half an hour later she’d found the right size ring and popped it in.  I did have a chuckle to myself when she told mum that she’d have take it out when she had sex!  On a more serious note, it can’t have been very pleasant and Bett was very brave.  Afterwards I took her to Tesco, filled up with petrol and then went back for lunch.  We had our usual salmon, boiled potatoes and peas which is nice and easy.   I left Melton at 2pm, mum had no jobs for me to do and I was knackered and just wanted to get home.  I did make a start on my mum’s paperwork but I managed an hour and then gave up. I was brain dead.

My real dad had his stent put in on Thursday; Julia went straight to the hospital when she got back to Suffolk.  She told me that the op went well but that he was very confused.  Julia said she had spoken to Simon who said that he was coming to the funeral.  Simon is the wayward one of the family, he went to prison for stabbing my mum and the last time my mum saw Simon, he pawned all of her jewellery then disappeared to Gloucester.  What Julia didn’t tell me was that she gave Simon my mobile, so his phone call later that night took me by surprise.  I never got on well with Simon and sure enough we fell out on the phone. 

I got up early yesterday morning with every intention of writing a posting for the blog but I got stuck in to phone calls and letters for my mum’s estate.  Once started I was on a mission to finish.  I phoned every one that I needed to contact and wrote letters enclosing death certificates.  After a shower I went to the Halifax to sort my mum’s credit card and current account.  She owes them thousands and they told me they would try and recover the money from me. I told them no chance but later down the line I suppose that I will have to prove that there is no money in the post.

After Halifax, my next stop was Barclays in Newport.  I saw the manager and he was very helpful.  Mum had sixty quid in her account which they transferred this to my account.  Not that it really goes anyway towards the £2k funeral cost but I suppose every little helps.  I’d arranged to see Mike and together we sorted out the photographs for the visual tribute and also photographs for the montage boards.  We also wrote the obituary for the newspaper.

There has been no time for domestics this week and so last night I did 2 hours of ironing.  I also scanned in 50 odd photographs which took me over 3 hours.  I had just sat down to watch some telly when my mobile went; it was my sister to say that my dad was really unwell and they had just called out the rapid response team.  An ambulance came and dad was admitted to A&E.  I feel for poor Julia, she must be physically and mentally knackered.  I know I feel shit but she’s had it much worse.  And poor dad.  I phoned Julia this morning and dad has a chest infection, an irregular heartbeat; he had low blood sugar levels and was very dehydrated.  I will get mum’s funeral out of the way and then I will make plans to go down to Suffolk to see my dad.  When will all shit end?