The Circle of Life

My plan for Saturday was to keep busy and keep busy I did, well certainly for the first part of the day; I wrote Dad’s eulogy, posted a blog and was at the health club working out by half past nine.  After DW I did a big shop at Asda and was back at the flat for midday.  I was expecting to do a spot of lunch for Sue to give her a short respite from visiting her dad in hospital but she phoned to say that she couldn’t leave him so I went to see her at ward 15.  As it happened, Sue ended up buying my lunch, because aside from spare change for parking, I didn’t have any money.

Bill, Sue’s dad wasn’t doing too well.  He seemed to remember who I was but I am not so sure.  It was upsetting to see how much he has deteriorated.  Poor Bill was in an anxious state. He was on an IV drip for antibiotics and a morphine drip for pain relief.  There wasn’t much I could do but keep Sue Company by his bedside.   Her dad didn’t really have a high level of consciousness and was being sick constantly.  I am not sure that keeping a 10 hour bedside vigil is doing much for Sue but she feels that she has to be there just in case. I understand this.  I left when Sue’s sons Stuart & Matt turned up and came away from the hospital feeling pretty useless.  I seemed to feel useless quite a lot these days.

One of my funeral duties was to organise the music for dad’s funeral.  George was really into um-papa German music and Phil’s mum had given me their one and only CD which she had rescued from dad’s car.  Obviously it isn’t my cup of tea so I’ve no idea why it made me cry whilst en-route to the gym as I whizzed through the tracks.   By the time I arrived at the Stadium I had pretty much decided on track 12.  Job done.

When I left the hospital it tipped it down and although I still had lots of things on the ‘to do’ list I decided to drive straight home.  I felt overwhelmed with sadness; I don’t know whether it was a delayed reaction to dad passing or whether seeing Sue’s dad suffering and also Sue but I felt very down in the dumps on Saturday afternoon.  I didn’t know whether Phil was coming back to MK so I just sat in the flat and waiting for him.  He did phone to say that he was leaving at quarter past 3 so I could relax a bit then.  I had half expecting Phil to bring mum back but she insisted she was fine to stay home alone.  As it turned out she wasn’t; as I have voiced before, hindsight is a very valuable thing.

Phil wasn’t in the best frame of minds when he got home but only to be expected I guess in view of the fact that he has just lost his dad.  Factor into the equation the hour and an half drive home plus his mum’s tears then you get the picture that it wasn’t a terribly happy household at ours on Saturday evening.  Emma my ex-neighbour touched my heart when she sent me a text to say that she and the family were going to a church service and she said that she would light a candle for George.  How sweet was that?? In fact I must say thank you to all our friends and family that have sent messages of support, it is very touching to know that people are thinking of us.

Unfortunately Saturday night didn’t get any better because I received a text from Sue to say that the doctor had seen her dad and she was told that his organs were closing down.  I did offer to go to the hospital and give her some support, because that’s what friends are for but Matt & Stuart were going back in so she okay. Well not okay but at least not alone.

Sue and her dad Bill were very much on my mind when I awoke at 4am on Sunday morning.  I got up and made a cup of tea but unfortunately I didn’t go back to sleep.  We had a shit load of things to do so both Phil & I were up by half six doing stuff.  I sorted the photographs and put together the montage boards ready for the funeral.  Phil was pleased with them when I’d finished but the whole process was upsetting. 

Sue sent me a text to say that she had received a call from the hospital asking her to come to the hospital so that she could be with her dad’s for his final hours at 3.45am.  Another early bird.   I really felt for her because George passed quickly and without pain and I so wished the same for her dad.  Again there wasn’t much I could do.  We kept in touch by text yesterday and the last text from her last night said that Bill was still alive but deteriorating.  Her intention was to stay with him throughout the night.  I have heard anything this morning.

Phil & I packed the car ready yesterday to go down to Melton today, I had intended to go to the gym but I didn’t have the inclination.   Phil invited Jim who was home alone because Shirley is in Australia to come over for Sunday lunch and to watch the Spanish Grand Prix.  My first inclination was to cancel him but actually it was a welcomed distraction and a chance for Phil to enjoy something ‘normal’.  The boys watched the race whilst I cooked the dinner.  I’d also invited Harriet over for lunch because I hadn’t seen her since before we went away on holiday.  She turned up with Mitzi, the little dog that she is looking after whilst her friend Jenny is away on holiday in India for 3 weeks.

Lunch was alright and pretty chilled out, which I think is just what me and Phil needed.  It was nice to see Jim and catch up with all of the Robb news.  Overall a good day yesterday with a Sunday roast, a few drinks, good company and just what the doctor ordered.