Life goes on

The past week has not been an easy one.  Last Saturday morning I woke up with a swollen eye, I knew straight away that my edema was back.  Not just back but back with vengeance.  Phil had stayed in Melton with his mum and would have stayed until Saturday teatime but he had to come back for an appointment at www.webuyanycar.com in Bletchley.  I don’t know if I have mentioned it in the blog but Phil’s mum wanted Phil to have dad’s Peugeot 306 estate car.  Although the car is 10 years old it’s only got 40,000 on the clock.  We have been wanting to get rid of the Land Rover for ages, we haven’t been able to sort the engine mechanical system failure and also it costs a fortune to fill up with fuel.

Anyway Phil got back, had a shower and we drove over to Water Eaton for our 11am appointment. It was unfortunate that we were a little early and the guy was a little late.  I had got an on-line valuation on our landrover for £4,500 which Phil & I both thought was great.  Unfortunately I messed up with the wrong registration; the guy that inspected the Landrover thought that we were bringing a Discovery. He valued the Land Rover at £13,000 which we didn’t accept.  It was a bit of a wasted morning.

Lunch was fish and chips from The Brothers fish shop.  I wasn’t feeling great and as such we had a quiet Saturday afternoon and evening.  Sue had invited us for Sunday lunch and as it was such a beautiful day we decided to walk to Newport Pagnell.  It only took us just over half an hour.  Sue cooked roast beef with all the trimmings and afterwards served raspberry tart with ice cream followed by cheese and biscuits.  Afterwards, we sat in the garden drinking wine and the hours soon passed.  It was gone 9 by the time we got back to the flat.  We hadn’t planned to stay so long at Sue’s but we had a good time and I think it did Phil good to get out.

Heads were a little fuzzy on Monday morning and we were running on the late side.  Just a good job that I had packed our case the day before. Just before we left the flat, Sue phoned to say that I’d left my mobile at her house.  Damn, but there was no time to collect it because we would have got stuck in the school traffic.  We stopped off at Overstone to pick up the post but sods law the owner had forgotten his keys so we had to wait.   Eventually we arrived in Melton at half past ten.

Mum was in a dither so Phil got on with the lunch while I sorted through her post.  Phil did a lovely lunch and it was nice to see mum eat.  She doesn’t eat much at the best of times, but since dad died she’s hardly eaten anything.  On Monday afternoon we went to the funeral directors to see the body.  Phil didn’t want to go in to see his dad laid out in his coffin and neither did I but mum wanted to see George and didn’t want to go in by herself. I had no choice.  I had never seen a dead person before but the person in the coffin on Monday wasn’t George as I remember him. Mum was really upset, the funeral staff had cut George when they shaved him and his was face was hollow because he didn’t have his teeth in.  Tears were shed and I was glad that we didn’t stay too long, 10 minutes tops I guess.

Everyone was subdued on Monday evening worrying about the funeral the following day.  I don’t think I slept a wink. I was aware I was tossing and turning and Phil said that I’d kept him awake.  Mum didn’t sleep either.  We pottered on Tuesday morning and then after lunch we got dressed into our funeral gear.  Phil was the last to get changed and had a wardrobe malfunction.  The clasp came off when he tried to do up his trousers which incidentally were about 4 inches too long.  Luckily the trousers had a button as well as a clasp but just to be on the safe side, Phil put on a belt.  The collar on the shirt that Phil had bought didn’t do up and we decided that Phil should not tuck his shirt in because he made him look even fatter.  Phil’s suit jacket fitted although he couldn’t button it up.  Oh dear.

The hurst and the car came at 2pm.  It took 45 minutes to get to the crematorium in Grantham. I was surprised to see so many people.  I reckon there were 30 friends and family.  I was nervous about the service because I’d written the eulogy and chosen the music but I needn’t have worried because it was perfect.  Tara, the civil celebrant that we’d chosen was wonderful, she read the tribute to George and it was so heartfelt you would have thought that she’d know him when he was alive.  Mum had a few wobbly moments but we sandwiched her between the two of otherwise she would have buckled over.  Thankfully Phil & I held it together but I was glad that we had chosen not to speak.

After the service was over, lots of people said how touching the service was. We held the wake back at The Bowls Club in Melton.  Phil’s mum and dad never played bowls but we often used to have Sunday lunch in the restaurant.  The buffet was good, a bit laden down with pork pies but this was probably quite fitting given that we were in Melton Mowbray, home to the pork pie.  I am not sure how many people were there for George or for Bet but I didn’t much care. I was just pleased that George had a good send-off.  We got back to the bungalow, a bit tired but glad that the day was over.

On Wednesday morning we sorted through mum’s paperwork.  Dad’s estate was fairly straight forward so it’s not been too difficult to sort.  Whilst Phil took mum to the solicitors to pick up a certified copy of the Will, I worked out her income and her monthly outgoings and she’s going to be fine.  In fact we heard yesterday that she has been awarded the attendance allowance so she’s going to more than fine financially.  Mum has decided that she wants to stay in the bungalow for the time being and that is her prerogative.   I think she needs to give it a go and see how she gets on.

We left Melton at half past two and got back to MK before 4pm.  I did feel a little guilty leaving mum alone the day after the funeral but we have stuff that we desperately needed to do at home.  Phil went out with the Wednesday night boys as usual and Sue came over to the flat.  Sue is sad being in the midst of organising her dad’s funeral and also his estate.  Unfortunately I know exactly what that feels like but hopefully I can be of support now that I am a little further down the line.  We caught up but it was a subdued evening.

I made it to the gym for the first time in ages yesterday and it felt okay.  Afterwards I did some shopping in Asda then it was back home for some chilli and rice that I’d taken out of the freezer.  I stripped the bed and then went round to Sue’s. She had kindly offered to chauffer me while my car went in for a service.  We dropped my car off at a garage in Stacey Bushes and then did some shopping in B&M and Dunelm Mills.  Neither of us needed anything but I brought a butter dish for the caravan and also a fleece mattress protector.  Sue got a variety of things.  We finished up with a skinny latte and a hot chocolate upstairs in Dunelms then went back to the garage to pick up my car which fortunately was ready.

And here we are at Friday, the end of another week.  Phil is off to London today with Steve Pem; they are going for lunch at Simpsons in The Strand, then they’re off to the London Car Museum. This evening they are going to see Eric Clapton at the Royal Albert Hall.  Steve got tickets for his 60^th birthday and asked Phil if he’d like to go with him.  Hopefully the boys will enjoy their day. As for me, I’m going to have lunch with Mads and then coming back to pack our bags.  Even though the weather forecast is crap we have decided to spend the bank holiday weekend at the caravan.  We thought it would be nice to give mum a bit of a break and Phil is going to collect her tomorrow morning.  I am not expecting wall to wall sunshine but it will be good if the rain stops and we see a bit of blue sky.  Fingers crossed.  Have a good bank holiday everyone and remember that life is for living.