Mum & Dad

It was a bit of a week all in all and I don’t feel that we’ve had time to touch the sides since getting back from holiday.  I had every intention of getting to the gym when Phil went to Melton on Tuesday but it didn’t happen.  By the time I’d done some food shopping, cooked a curry, did some washing and domestics & caught up with paperwork it was nearly tea time.  I’d just sat down to watch the telly when Phil walked through the door so that was good timing.

Phil had a successful visit to the hospital, not too sure if ‘successful’ is the right word but I will go with it for now.  Phil said he’d managed to get parked in the disabled car-park and he found a wheelchair almost straight away.  The bonus was that the lifts were back in action so Phil’s mum didn’t have to walk.  Very different to our last visits.  George was sat in his chair, he managed to eat the treats that mum had taken and better still, he stayed awake for the whole visit.

Phil asked to speak to 2 doctors treating his dad and I’m afraid it wasn’t good news.  The mass on dad’s kidney is certainly to be kidney cancer and it’s quite likely that this has metastasised.  A  Cat scan and a biopsy would confirm this but the doctor explained that they have decided not to do any further tests.  The reason being that George, because of his angina and a stroke a couple of years ago, wouldn’t survive surgery and chemotherapy and radiotherapy wouldn’t make much any difference. It was decided that the plan of action would be to sort out correct medications, stabilise and send him home.

And yes it is sad but we have to remember that dad will be 88 this year.  All we can do is make sure that he doesn’t suffer with pain and give him the best possible care.  As it is a 5 hour round trip, leaving from MK and picking up mum and getting her back home before driving back to the flat, we decided to have a day off from visiting on Wednesday.  I went to the gym in the morning, did a bit of shopping at the city centre and made a shepherd’s pie in the afternoon.  Sue came round for sticky ribs and curry in the evening and Phil went out with the Wednesday night boys.  It felt good to be doing something normal.

On Thursday morning Phil went to Melton as mum had phoned to say that George was being discharged and would be coming home in an ambulance.  Phil needed to get his dad’s car back to Melton, also he wanted to give her some support for when dad got back home.  I went to the gym and then picked up Harriet from home and we went to The Old Swan for lunch. We were one of the first diners and managed to get a nice table for 2 by the fire.   After lunch I drove to Melton.

I guess it was half two by the time I arrived and I was surprised to find dad’s chair empty.  I immediately phoned the ward only to be told, that there had been a change of plan.  Apparently the doctor wasn’t happy with the swelling in George’s ankles and had put him back on Furosemide.  Mum was really upset because it was too late to visit the hospital which meant it was 2 days without a visit.  I knew mum wanted us to stay the night but we decided to go home, promising to return the following day.

We left just after nine am on Friday and landed at Melton just before half ten.  We had a very early lunch of left over shepherd’s pie and were en route to Leicester Infirmary at quarter past eleven.  It was a nightmare finding a wheelchair and we eventually reached the ward at half past twelve.  Dad was pleased to see us; he gulped his shandy and ate all of the tinned peaches which mum had to feed him.  I looked at George’s notes and was upset to see that he was wearing a pad.   The pad didn’t seem to work so Bet had to help him to the toilet.  I flagged a nurse to get a clean pad and she went in the toilet to help them. It is so sad to see someone lose their dignity but I guess it’s going to happen to us all at some point.

We managed to speak to a senior nurse and were told that dad would either be discharged that evening or early on Saturday morning.  I could see that Phil’s mum was upset and I know that she was worrying how she manages to cope on her own with an incontinent George.  Unfortunately she had told one of the nurses that she could manage but that was before the incontinence.  I have already got the number for Melton Social Services so that will be my first call on Monday morning.

It was a horrible drive back on Friday evening but we just about managed to avoid the rush hour traffic.  On Saturday we decided to just chill out.   I went into Newport to get Phil’s prescription and then popped in for a cup of coffee with Sue.  We still haven’t really caught up from before our holiday.  Whilst we were on the cruise Sue went to Portugal for an all-in week with Brian.

We decided to walk to the Nags Head for lunch. It was only snowing lightly but it was bitterly cold. I was disappointed that the wood burner wasn’t lit in the pub, but no matter, we had a pleasant lunch.  It was a very brisk walk back to the flat; Phil watched the qualifying and then we chilled vegged out watching movies.  We’d made and received several telephone calls from mum in Melton during the day but she finally called at 8.13 to let us know that George was home. 

Phil has gone to Melton today; Georgina is driving to Whitby but will stop off to see her grandparents.  I decided not to stay home alone. Not only does this give me a change to wash the towels and change the bed, but also I’d like to go to the gym. I do feel guilty about this but I think me and Phil are frequently going to be to and fro to Melton over the new few months, so it might be an idea to spread the load and take it in turns.