Beating the blues

I did hope that when I went on my blogging break that Phil would step in and take over for a bit but that didn’t happen so I think I owe it to everyone to try and do a posting.  Please don’t expect much though; I have no photographs because my battered gum covered camera has not been out of my bag for the last month.  In fact it’s not even working but that maybe because it needs a charge, can’t remember the last time I plugged it in.  I’m afraid I’m still feeling pretty low; still the girl with her glass half empty even though there is no particular rhyme nor reason.  But that’s the way it is and believe me, if I could shake off this dark mood then I would do it in a nano second.

I’ve resisted the temptation of going to the doc and getting me a bottle me a bottle of Prozac because I’ve got one of those addictive personalities and would probably get an addiction to anti-depressants.  I know that these work for some people but I choose not to go down that route (for now). Instead I have been trying to beat the blues by cutting out the wine in the week and stepping up my work out regime.  Some days I have been going for an hour and a half in the morning and a couple of hours late afternoon and early evening. I would like to say that I feel much better and the weight has fallen off me, but alas it hasn’t which is bizarre when you think how many calories there are in wine.  It’s a shame but as I do weights every single day there is a possibility that I am carrying more muscle than I had before. Who knows but abstaining and exercising more can only be good for me in the long run.  I shall continue with this regime until I become bored or find me a job.

It’s hard to think what I have actually been doing with myself for the last month.  A few weeks back, I helped Sue paint her garden fence panels which was good fun; I had to laugh because on this particular day Sue had the worst hangover that I’ve ever known her to have.  I did say that she could chill out on the sofa but she was having none of it.  We did good and after the fences, we went to the tip to dump all of Sue’s ceramic kitchen tiles, that Stuart her son had chiselled out. I did feel for him, it was hard work.  All in all though, a productive day at number 2.

We have spent the last 4 weekends at the caravan and have been mostly lucky with the weather.  It makes such a difference, not just to what you do at Overstone but how you feel.  We had a nice weekend with my step-dad and his partner, followed by a weekend with just me and Phil where we mostly just chilled.  A couple of weekends ago we went to see a Michael Jackson tribute band with Brian and Sue and I thought it was really good even though I didn’t have any high expectations.  Last weekend I picked up mum and brought her to the caravan to stay for the weekend.  She is doing much better but is still finding life without George a struggle.  I have been going down most Mondays to spend the day and do odd jobs around the house but I hate the drive on the M1 and me and Phil have decided we are going to cut back on her visits.  This sounds harsh but whilst we will do all we can to support her, she does need to get some independence of her own.

The new scooter is not proving to be any more successful than the last one.  It didn’t help that Una, the 92 year old lady that lives alone in a bungalow across from mum had an accident in town on her scooter last week and ended up in A&E having to have stitches.  I am not sure exactly what happened but it has made mum even more afraid of venturing out on her scooter.  This week she has been brave and tried the bus into town and this has been quite successful.  She managed to go to the doctors to pick up pee sample bottles and even got some shopping from Morrisons.  Thankfully she made it there and back without any incident.  She is a bit worry to us.

Other than week nights of abstinence from the red stuff and lots of hours in the gym I struggle to think of anything of significance that I have done.  I will admit to watching endless hours of TV and there has been some good programmes that I have enjoyed watching; Big Brother, The Apprentice, Dates, Child Genius to name but a few.  I confess to watching all the soaps on a nightly basis and I really must wean myself off these as it is such a waste of a life.  The main soaps I follow are Eastenders, Coronation Street and Emmerdale and the main focus of all these soaps focus around a local pub, not easy when you are trying not to drink. God I sound like an alcoholic and maybe I am, it certainly runs in the family so I blame the genes!

I have had a couple of nightmare moments; one was when the land rover broke down on me at the Caldecotte roundabout when I was going over to Harriet’s flat to read her electric meter.  I had a real panic attack when I was in the right hand lane and the car wouldn’t start. In my panic I struggled to find the hazard lights and eventually 2 men got out of their cars and pushed me up in the kerb.  However they didn’t push me over far enough and the bum of the car was sticking out quite dangerously.  I didn’t dare sit in the car but instead waited for an hour and a half for the rescue my car people to come and rescue me.

I also had a panic when Phil told me he got an email from Amazon to say that they hadn’t received my faulty Kindle paperlight and therefore were charging his credit card for £109.  I searched and searched for my proof of delivery postage receipt but couldn’t find it for love nor money.  In the end I logged on to Phil’s Amazon account and sent an email to say that I had definitely returned the email and asked them to check their records.  Well I thought it was worth a go because I knew that I had returned the faulty kindle and my gamble paid off.  Justice prevailed for once.

Harriet and Billy went on holiday early June and had a fantastic week in Gran Canaria.  Harriet came over for lunch at the caravan last Sunday and brought her bikini so she could top up her tan.  She is very good with Phil’s mum and we enjoyed a very nice afternoon together.  Sue and Brian flew to Kefalonia last Tuesday for a week and had a brilliant time.  I missed my partner in crime whilst she was out of the country but Sue came over for supper on Wednesday night looking very tanned and relaxed.  This holiday has done her the world of good and she is in a good place right now.  Long may it last as it’s about time this girl had some good times in her life.

I’ve seen Jan a couple of times at the OU, once with Sue when we had lunch at the hub and I did catch up with Jan last week at the OU for a coffee.  I did feel sorry for Jan, she’d had an 18 hour day in London the day before and she looked knackered.  Jan has an awful lot on her plate at the moment and I came away feeling a little bit guilty for banging on about my woes and feeling very much up my own arse.  Sometimes it takes others to give you a true perspective on life.

Life is going to get a little more exciting in the next month or so because Phil has splashed out and booked us two holidays.  The first one is a mini break on the Cunard Queen Elizabeth which leaves from Southampton on the 15^th of July and docks at Hamburg on the 17^th of July.  It’s only 2 days and is a bit messy because we have to get to Southampton and then get back to MK from Heathrow but it only cost £169 pp and will be amazing if it’s anything like the Queen Mary 2.  I can’t wait.

Phil has also booked us on a Norwegian Fjord cruise for a week with his mum.  It leaves from Dover and hopefully it will give mum something to look forward to.  The price was good even though it’s with a cruise line we’ve never heard of but mum has had to pay double for single occupancy which seems unfair. I think if we take her away next year then we may have to persuade her to take a friend which makes it cheaper for her.  But she has enough money in the bank and at the end of the day she can’t take it with her.

Well this post has been easy and one and a half thousand words have rolled off in half an hour with no trouble whatsoever. Hopefully I have come across a little brighter than I have in my last few posts but apologies if not.  As Sue would say, PMA, which stands for Positive Mental Attitude.  It’s her mantra at the moment and one that maybe I should try and adopt.  I’m afraid though I am a WYSIWUG (what you see is what you get) and I make no apologies for that.  Next week I will be 48 and at nearly half a century it’s way too late to change.  Or is it?