A Dolly Mixture of a week

This past week has been like dolly mixtures, a real mixed bag.  Personally I would have preferred Starbursts, they are simple and sweet and from the wrapper, you know exactly what to expect.  Mind you, we didn’t help ourselves much by starting the week with hangovers but that was self-inflicted so no sympathy is expected.  Phil was really suffering but I had arranged to meet Harriet at David Lloyd so no time to linger and feel sorry for myself.

I didn’t have time for a workout so I met up with Harriet & Billy in the Jacuzzi; Billy had to leave to go to work and me and Harriet did a few lengths in the outside pool which blew a few cobwebs away I can tell you.  We would have swum longer had it not been for the ducks that decided to join us.  This meant a swift exit, Harriet has a phobia of birds and I was worried about them pooping.  We swam some more in the indoor pool but Harriet takes longer to get ready than me so I left her to beautify while I went back to the flat.

Despite his sorry state, Phil had the roast chicken dinner under control and even had time for a shower.  Harriet joined us for lunch and Phil served up dead on the dot of midday and very nice it was too.   The fold-up wheelchair that I’d ordered on the internet was delivered just after I’d shoved the plates in the dishwasher, which was just as well because time was of the essence.  We chucked Harriet out and drove to the hospital for Phil’s appointment at the hospital but not before she had a whizz round in the wheelchair.  Children and I include Phil in that statement!

We had to wait forever to see the consultant at the MacMillan unit at MKG.  Phil saw a new consultant but he was very nice.  Thankfully Phil’s PSA result was 1 which was brilliant and he won’t have to go back for another 6 months.  Unfortunately his blood sugar was the highest it’s ever been and Phil promised me that he would cut out the sweet stuff.  He came back from his mum’s the following day with a Tesco trifle so this promise didn’t last long. After hospital I caught up with a cup of tea with Sue who was worn out after visiting her dad and meeting with a social worker. Monday evening was early to bed.  How middle-aged are we?

Phil was up early on Tuesday morning and on the road to Melton Mowbray to see his mum by half seven.  I did some jobs and then went to DW for my workout; I wanted to do some food shopping in ASDA and I also wanted to pay a quick trip to Primark so it made sense.  There was just enough time after the gym for a little bite to eat at the flat before I had to go to Rachel in Newport to get my hair done.  Rachel is cheap and good and although I hate getting my hair done, my grey roots were really showing.  Harriet popped in for a cup of tea and Rachel gave her a quick free trim.  Phil wasn’t late back from Melton; he just had time for a shower before being picked up by Jim to go to the cinema to see ‘Oblivion’.  I gather it didn’t have a good write up but the boys enjoyed it and they got their escapism.

At the end of the afternoon I nipped over for a cup of tea with Vanessa as I hadn’t seen her for ages.  There is a lot going in the Ford household.  Chris, Van & Alex have just returned from a 10 day holiday in Turkey.  Alex is just about to start his GSE’s, Shannon takes her ‘A’ levels next month and Vanessa has been busy training for the MK marathon on the 6^th of May. I have the greatest respect for this girl, only 2 weeks after running the marathon she is climbing Mt Toubkal in Morocco.  Of course all in aid of Willen Hospice which is such a worthy cause and one close to my heart.  Vanessa has raised nearly 7.5k for this charity so if you haven’t done so already my MK friends, please sponsor her.  You just never whether you or yours will be in need of our local hospice in the future. https://www.justgiving.com/user/10128899

On Wednesday morning I went to David Lloyd; it feels a little weird going back there and funnily enough it’s not as good as I had remembered.  But it is on the door step which for one saves on my travelling time and also saves money on petrol. Lunch was something out of the freezer and straight after we drove to Overstone to pick up the post and sort out the caravans.

Our objective was to turn on the water, turn on the gas and make up the beds and generally make good everything for when Jan & Steve stay, giving both the mums a little bit of a mini break next week. It should have been easy but it wasn’t. Phil got the water turned on easily enough but had problems lighting both the boilers.  In the end he had to call Dennis next door for some help.  We had to pay him for cutting both lawns anyway and Den is always happy and willing to help.  He soon got the boilers lit but suggested that we get them both serviced.  We should do this every year but with everything going on with mum and dad there just hasn’t been a chance.  I came away happy, sofas cleaned and in place, showers scrubbed and hopefully J&S will enjoy their stay.  I just hope the sun shines for them but I have no control over that one.

Wednesday evening I picked up Sue and she came round for our usual Wednesday night supper. I did lamb chops which were good but I bought cheats potatoes daphonoise and these were pretty crap.  I don’t think she or I much cared after consuming the red stuff but hey ho, some old.  It wasn’t a late night which was just as well because Phil & I had to be up and out and on the road by 9am to go to London to meet with our solicitor and a barrister.  We drove to Finchley central then took the northern then the central line to Chancery Lane. 

It was a big day because by hiring the barrister we were to find out whether we had a chance of taking our case to court and winning.  The barrister was very thorough, mind you, I expected him to be for a fee of 5 grand.  The meeting was intense and went on relentless for 2 hours.  Phil has specifically asked me not to mention the outcome and I must respect his wishes.  He is being I feel, a little paranoid and fears that the bastard FA and the handyman is able to read our blog even though I have been forced to make it private. I don’t think is the case but anyway, if you want to know the outcome please email either me or Phil directly.

I felt both physically and mentally exhausted when we got back from London, totally wiped out as did Phil.  Perhaps a slight exaggeration but you get the gist and I make no apologies.  I can be a bit of a drama queen sometime and I know it. Thursday night was quiet.  It would have been nice to lie and dwell on the events of the day before but no chance for us Krause’s as we had to be up and back on the road again to Melton Mowbray by 7am.

The purpose of our visit was to take dad to Leicester General for an appointment with the Oncologist and Urologist.  We kind of thought this appointment was a generic one, i.e. a patient must be seen within 2 weeks by a consultant after being discharged from hospital.  My gut feeling was that I should cancel but then I would have never forgiven myself if we didn’t get dad there and he were to miss out on any treatment.  This didn’t happen but nonetheless I was glad we made the effort.

Mum had to arrange the carer to come in early specifically for the hospital appointment.  We arrived at 8.30am, and bar a slight toilet mishap, we successfully manoeuvred mum and dad into the car and were en-route to Leicester by quarter past nine.  I am pleased to say that my newly purchased portable wheelchair worked a treat. Phil dropped us all off, chair and we were all in outpatients 2 in no time. Unfortunately the OP2 was packed and we had a half an hour wait but all was good. No toilet accidents and actually P’s dad was alert and awake for the whole time.  When we finally got our slot we saw the registrar rather than the consultant but this was fine.  To be honest, we all didn’t know what to expect and actually I am not sure what or how much dad or mum understood.  The bottom line is that dad has kidney cancer, prostate cancer and the brain scan shows evidence of a recent stroke which explains the confusion.  They are not certain that it has metastised but they confirmed that surgery or radiotherapy is not an option and they will not be doing biopsies or any other tests.

I feel I think, more for the loss of dignity than the loss of life, or to be blunt the end of life.  Why oh why did the consultant have to put his finger up dad’s bum to check the size of his prostate. Phil has had this done and knows not just how embarrassing this is, but just how painful.  I would have stopped this intrusive test had I of known what they were doing when they closed the curtain.  If it is a given fact that every 87 year old man has prostate cancer, and given one with other cancers then why?????  I have to give all credit to Phil’s dad, he was brave and he was very polite.  Part of his lucid brain was there on Thursday but maybe some part of me wished it wasn’t.

The one good thing is that George currently, as I type, is not in pain; if he develops pain at a later date, then the only treatment he will get is end of life care and/or palliative care.  We learnt that actually, the kidney tumour is not making him unwell, it is his failing heart; it will be cardiac failure that will finish him off. It’s so sad, but I suppose at least we know and if he goes without pain and his heart gives up in his sleep that will not be so bad.  I sound heartless, I know, but such is life.  87 is not a bad age to say goodbye.

I sound sad but it wasn’t such a bad day on Friday, in fact it was quite a positive one.  Between the two of us, we managed to get dad and mum to hospital and the newly acquired wheelchair was a success. On the back home we stopped off at Aldi in Syston and that made mum happy.  We picked up their prescriptions from the chemist and afterwards got fish and chips which made for an easy lunch.  Just a shame that dad had a toilet problem as soon as we got into the bungalow which meant by the time mum got to the table we’d already wolfed our little bit of fish, chips and mushy peas and mum’s plate must have been stone cold.

Phil cut the grass and we left Melton around quarter to three.  A good ride back and we were back in MK by 4pm.  I was up bright on early on Saturday morning and did Sainsbury’s, Primark & Lidl before half nine.   I did an hour in DW and then got some bits in Asda.  Phil too had also had a productive morning, he’d booked our transfers and written a letter to dad’s GP.  It was such a lovely day that we decided to walk to the pub for a spot of lunch. I really wanted to go to The Nags Head but Phil made me to the Giffard.  Yesterday afternoon it was domestics, washing, ironing and manicures and pedicures in readiness for our week away.

We have deliberated and deliberated as to whether to go away or not but we finally made a decision on Wednesday.  We did ask Steve & Jan if they wanted to go in our place but the dates didn’t work for Jan.  Also we received an email from Purple Travel on Monday to say that actually the change of name cost wasn’t £35 as originally advised but no, it was £195.  So when you factor in the Ryanair fee on top, the change of name would have cost more than we paid for the holiday in the first place.

And so we are leaving on a jet plane tomorrow morning for a week of escapism in Corfu.  I am feeling a little guilty about leaving mum and dad and there is a worry that something may happen in the week we’re gone but if it does, we shall simply fly home.  I think Phil & I both need a break away, if nothing more but to make us strong enough to face the months ahead.  I have a feeling in my waters that they are not going to be good.....................